Sex for the first time

Deciding to have sex is a personal choice that involves each of the partners. What is important is that it happens when you want, with the person you want and with respect for each person's choices.

There is no ideal age to have sex for the first time. It is a personal decision that varies a lot from one person to the next. However, for young people under 16 years of age, there are certain legal considerations. To find out more, see the Age of consent section below.

Each person experiences several "first times": first kiss, first caresses above or below clothes, first time undressing in front of someone, first time touching breasts or genitals, first oral-genital intercourse, first vaginal penetration, etc. These first times can be with the same person or, over time, with different people.

Without planning everything, talking about sexuality with your partner allows you to get to know each other better, to share your fears and apprehensions, to share your desires and expectations, etc. These conversations are sometimes embarrassing, but they can help avoid misunderstandings and disappointments.

In Canada, the legal age of consent is 16.

Under the age of 12, it is not legal to have sex.

At 12 or 13 years of age, a sexual relationship is legal with a person who is:

• the same age as you
• no more two years older than you and who is not in a position of authority (for example, a youth camp facilitator)

At 14 or 15 years of age, a sexual relationship is legal with a person who is:

• two years younger than you
• no more than five years older than you and who is not in a position of authority (for example, a youth camp facilitator)

Between 16 and 19 years of age, a sexual relationship is legal with a person who is 14 years of age or older.

At 20 years of age or older, a sexual relationship is legal with a person who is 16 years of age or older.

There are several methods of contraception that can prevent an unwanted pregnancy. In a new relationship, condoms protect against both an unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted and blood-borne infections (STBBIs). In the longer term, and especially after having been tested to make sure they are not carriers of an STBBI, the partners can think together about using another method of contraception, such as the contraceptive pill, the IUD or a vasectomy for example.

To find out more, go to the page How to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.

Occasionally, incidents may occur such as forgetting to take a birth control pill, a condom breaks, a condom was put on too late or not at all, etc. Oral emergency contraception or the “morning after pill” can help prevent an unwanted pregnancy.

To find out more about emergency contraception, go to the page How to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.

Sexually transmitted and blood-borne infections (STBBIs) can have an impact on sexual and reproductive health. Some can also affect the overall health and well-being of the people affected. Often, people infected with an STBBI do not know they have one because they have few or no symptoms. This means they can spread infections without being aware of it.

STBBIs are increasing sharply throughout Quebec. An STBBI can be contracted at any age.

Young people age 15 to 24 account for about half of reported cases of chlamydia and a quarter of reported cases of gonorrhea in Quebec.

Never having had sex reduces the chances of getting an STBBI significantly, but some infections are spread through skin-to-skin contact, or may have been passed on at birth.

Using condoms or a dental dam is recommended for each sexual contact, from start to finish, until you and your partner have been tested. While they may sometimes seem like an obstacle to pleasure and spontaneity, condoms ensure good sexual health for you and your partners. Condoms do not require a medical prescription and there is no “legal age” to obtain them. For people who are sensitive or allergic to latex, polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms are available in pharmacies. They cost about the same as latex condoms.

Some STBBIs can be prevented by a vaccine (HPV for example), but this vaccine does not protect against other STBBIs. Using condoms makes it possible to avoid any risk.

To find out more about ways to protect yourself from STBBIs and how to use condoms and dental dams, go to the page How to protect yourself against STBBIs.